After your spouse dies you may wonder if you should continue to wear your wedding ring. It’s a deeply personal decision.
If you take it off, what will you do with it?
How about moving it to the other hand if you leave it on?
This frequently asked question about should a widow wear her wedding ring is food for thought and ultimately, it’s all about what works for you. Like many things with grief and grieving, there is no right or wrong answer.
The Wedding Ring
A wedding ring symbolizes your love and the day you dedicated yourself to your spouse. Therefore, it symbolizes your togetherness and holds great significance. Continuing to wear your wedding band in honour of your spouse can be a form of comfort for many people. The ring serves as a constant reminder of the love and memories you shared with your spouse.
You may decide to continue wearing your ring and keep the ring on the finger on which it was originally worn. Having something tangible that reminds you of your loved one can bring comfort and solace. Wearing a ring can also symbolize your relationship, and even though the person is no longer here, you still have something to physically remind you of him or her.
It is entirely your choice.
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The timeframe and rules are not set in stone; you can decide what works best for you.
In general, widows can do whatever they please. There is no specific etiquette as to whether they should wear or stop wearing their ring, or when it is appropriate to do so.
Do Widows Wear Wedding Rings?
Yes indeed, some certainly do.
When their husband passes, some widows clean out their houses right away. They remove their ring and move forward.
Other widows never remove their wedding ring . Some choose to wear it on their right-hand. Still others wear them as a pendant or even in a bracelet. It’s certainly an individual choice, and no one should dictate it for you. When you’re ready, you’ll remove it. Maybe, from time to time, you will decide to put it back on.
This is what I tend to do. Most days I do not wear my wedding or engagement ring, but there are other days when I put them back on my finger. I need to feel the connection to my loved one and soak in the cherished memories. It brings comfort and soothes my soul to do so. However I am now considering getting them resized to wear permently on my right hand.
Alternatively I have a good friend who continues to wear her wedding and engagement ring on her ring finger to prevent any confusion and show the world she is not available for a relationship. She feels wearing her rings makes her feel more safe when she is interacting with people she does not know.
The Engagement Ring Dilema
Deciding whether to wear your engagement ring is also a difficult choice to make. You must take into consideration your emotions, as well as the pros and cons of your decision. By talking to people who have lost a spouse, you will soon realize that there is no right answer to this particular question. Some women decide to continue wearing their rings, whereas others remove them shortly after their partner’s death.
I sometimes wear my engagement ring on the right-hand finger alongside my husbands gold band on the middle finger. Although I usually wear his gold band on my left-hand middle finger – that brings me comfort having it there and close to me.
The decision of whether or not to wear the engagement ring is up to you. No one can tell you how to feel or what is right for you. Your religious beliefs or your culture may play a part. There is no right or wrong answer. Take the time you need to make a decison you will be happy with going forward. How people handle grief and how they honour their deceased loved one are very individual matters.
Weigh Up Your Options
Here are some ideas to consider for your wedding ring:
- Continue to wear the ring until you feel ready to remove it. Some continue to wear it forever, even after they remarry so they retain a sense of closeness to their deceased spouse. There is no right or wrong way, just the way that feels right for you.
- Move your wedding ring to your right hand. This is a small first step of the letting go process. By doing this you can still feel connected to your loved one, while signaling to those around you that things have changed in your life. It may also make it a little easier if you are open to new romantic guestures.
- Turn it into something else. Anything from necklaces, earnings, even bracelets or a different ring all together. Some people like to take their loved ones ring and combine them all to make a new special peice of jewellery. I worked with a lovely lady who repurposed her engagement and wedding rings, along with her husbands wedding band, into a single ring. The jeweller did a fantastic job of combining the three, creating one gorgeous new ring. She is delighted to be able to wear all 3 significant pieces of jewellery at once on her finger.
- You can wear it as a necklace. I have heard of several widows doing this but not so many widowers, although there is no reason why they couldnt. Wearing your wedding ring or rings around you neck keeps them close to your heart and serves as a connection to your loved one.
- Keep it safe in a memory box. Some people retain their rings and the rings of their significant other in a lovely keepsake box. This may be a box that you constructed specifically because it holds special value for you, or it can just just be a box that you like.
- Keep it to pass along to children For many people, even if they are choosing to no longer wear the ring, they may want to hold on to it for sentimental reasons. If you have children, you could pass it down to them as an heirloom. This way, it will stay in the family.
- Donate it to a charity. Before doing this you would need to be absolutley sure you no longer wanted to keep your rings, have access to them, and did not want them to remain in the family.
- Bury it with your spouse
Some couples find it meaningful to keep the wedding rings together as a symbolic gesture of unity. However, this requires considerable mental effort before the funeral when you are probably not thinking clearly. If you haven’t considered this previously, you can still have the bands placed next to their grave or have them set into the headstone.
A Word of Caution
There are some situations where you might want to stop wearing your ring after the death of your spouse:
- You should consider removing your wedding band if it causes you intense emotional pain. Store it somewhere safe until you can face it again. This is common with photographs as well.
- If you deide to start dating again or get remarried later on, you probably dont want to keep wearing the ring. It is likely to cause issues or discomfort for your new date/partner.
Conclusion
Each person will make their own decision about whether or not to wear their wedding ring when they are ready. There is no “right” way to feel. If the engagement ring makes you feel better, there’s no reason to remove it. If you prefer not to wear it, that’s fine, too.
Perhaps you like the gold band more. If you want to continue to wear it, that’s your choice.You can keep it on forever if you want. Or, perhaps you will never wear the wedding ring again. You may prefer to pack it away safely and cherish the memories. That’s also OK.
For ideas on how to repurpose your rings, click here ( Please note this is NOT an affiliate link- just ideas to give you options)
Whatever you do regarding wedding rings, whether your own or your partner’s, do what’s right for you. The decision is entirely yours. As always, I am only a click away, so please get in touch if you have questions or queries. Please share this article if you know of a widow (or widower ) it could help. And please add your comments or question below, I love reading them❤️
Till next time, Ally
