Devastating loss followed by the struggle though crippling and agonising grief can be a long and challenging process. There are days when its takes every bit of strength you possess to just get out of bed in the morning. Then there are other days when you catch yourself smiling, and suddenly feel overcome with guilt for feeling a fleeting moment of happiness.
Such is the roller coaster of grief. But with time, patience, self-care, and support, healing is possible. Here are some thoughts to consider as you navigate your difficult journey though grief and seek healing:
#1 Allow yourself to grieve:
Grief can be messy, painful and disruptive, but it’s vitally important to allow yourself the time and space to grieve your loss. Suppressing your grief often prolongs the healing process, so give yourself permission to feel and experience your emotions, whatever they may be, and don’t try to rush the process.
Here are some reasons why it’s so important to allow yourself to grieve:
Grief is a sign of love and helps you honor your loved one: Grief is a reflection of the love you had for your loved one, and with deep love, we feel deep loss. Allowing yourself to grieve is a way of honoring the memory of your loved one, and acknowledging the impact they had on your life and the love you shared.
Suppressing grief can lead to health problems: Allowing yourself to grieve can help you process your emotions healthily and reduce the risk of long-term health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and chronic stress.
Grief helps us accept the reality of the loss: When we lose someone we love, it can be difficult to accept that they are really gone…. forever. Grieving allows us to come to terms with the reality of our loss, and helps us begin to adjust to life without our loved one.
Grief can help you grow: Grief can be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation. It can help you reflect on your life and relationships, and inspire you to make positive changes that honor your loved one’s memory.
Grief can lead to healing: While grief can be a painful process, it can also lead to healing and growth. By allowing yourself to grieve, you can begin to come to terms with your loss and find ways to move forward in your life.
#2 Practice self-care:
Self-care is crucial when grieving because grief can be physically and emotionally draining. It may be a natural response for you to want to take care of others and make sure their needs are met, but it’s important to remember that taking care of yourself is equally important during this time.
Here are some reasons why self-care is crucial when grieving:
Grief can cause physical symptoms: Grief can cause physical symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, headaches, and changes in appetite. Taking care of your physical health by eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep, and engaging in physical activity can help manage these symptoms.
Grief can be emotionally draining: Grief can cause a wide range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety. Engaging in self-care activities such as meditation, journal writing , or spending time in nature can help manage these emotions and provide a sense of calm and relaxation.
Grief can affect your relationships: Grief can impact your relationships with others, and it’s important to take care of yourself to avoid unintentionally hurting those around you. Engaging in self-care activities can help you process your emotions and communicate with others in a healthy and constructive way.
Grief can be a long process: Grief is a journey that can take months or even years to process. Self-care is essential to the healing process and can lessen mental, physical, and spiritual suffering.
#3 Embrace your memories:
Your memories of your loved one are such a precious gift. It is important to embrace and treasure them because memories help us feel connected to our loved ones even though they are no longer physically with us.
Here are some reasons why it’s important to embrace and treasure memories of your loved one:
Memories keep their presence alive: Memories serve as a reminder of the love and joy our loved one’s brought into our lives and help keep their presence alive in our hearts and minds.
Memories provide comfort: Memories can be a source of comfort during the grieving process. They can help you feel close to your loved one, and provide a sense of warmth and familiarity.
Memories help us heal: Remembering happy memories of your loved one can help you in the healing process. It can help you shift your focus from the pain of their loss to the positive experiences we shared with them.
Memories help us pass on their legacy: Embracing and treasuring memories of your loved one’s helps us pass on their legacy to future generations. We can share stories and experiences with others, helping to keep their memory and impact alive for years to come.
Memories can bring a sense of peace: In times of stress or despair, recalling pleasant memories of our loved ones can provide serenity and solace. Even in difficult times, it can give us a sense of being anchored to something good.
Remember, it’s okay to feel sad when remembering our loved one’s. It’s normal to feel a variety of emotions as you think back on the past. Accepting and cherishing our loved ones’ memories enables you to keep them close to your heart forever. ♡
#4 Accept that healing is a process:
The process of healing after a loss or trauma is not a one-time event, but rather a gradual and ongoing journey that requires time, effort, and patience.
Here are a few reasons why healing is often described as a process:
Healing takes time: Healing after a loss or trauma is not a quick fix. It requires time and patience to process emotions, adjust to new circumstances, and find new ways of coping.
Healing involves different stages: Healing is often described as a series of stages, such as shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each stage involves a different set of emotions and challenges, and it can take time to move through each one.
Healing is not linear: The healing and recovery progress is not always consistent or predictable. There may be setbacks or unexpected challenges along the way, and it’s important to be patient and compassionate with yourself during these times.
Healing requires effort: Healing requires effort and involvement. It entails seeking support, practising self-care, and taking steps towards personal growth.
Healing is ongoing: Healing is not something that has a clear end point. It is an ongoing process that may continue for years or even a lifetime. It means finding new ways of coping with loss as time passes. You may have good days and bad days, and that’s okay. Accept that healing is a journey, and it may take longer than you expect. Don’t put pressure on yourself to “move on” or “get over it” by a certain time frame.
#5 Find meaning in your loss:
Although it may not feel like it in the midst of grief, many people find that their loss ultimately gives them a deeper sense of purpose or meaning in life.
Here are a few ways that loss can give us a deeper sense of purpose and meaning:
Loss can provide a sense of purpose in life, inspire us to live our lives in a way that honors the memory of those we have lost, and help us grow.
Strengthening relationships: Going through a loss can also strengthen your relationship with others. It can bring you closer to those who have supported you during your grief and helped you through difficult times.
Fostering a sense of gratitude: Loss can make you more aware of the preciousness of life and help you cultivate a sense of gratitude for the people and experiences in your life.
Wrapping up:
Overall, loss is often a difficult and painful experience, but it can also be a catalyst for positive growth and change as well as a deeper sense of purpose and meaning in life.
Here is a little quote that acknowledges the natural and unpredictable nature of grief, with its highs and lows. The metaphor of swimming in the ocean suggests that while grief may be challenging and at times overwhelming, we can learn to move through it, rather than being consumed by it.
“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” Vicki Harrison
If you are grieving right now, I am sending a big warm virtual embrace your way ♡
You can reach out to me here: Ally@toughgrief.com or we can connect here for a free 15 minute chat. I would love to connect with you if you are in need of some support, you dont have to travel this difficult journey alone.
Much love♡
Ally
