Unexpected and unwelcome grief has arrived on my doorstep more than once. I was introduced to the devastating and dark side of grief as a 5 year old when my brother died unexpectedly. Although the memory remains, I did not understand death at that age.

Since then grief has revisited several times, including the painful loss of both my parents, a dear friend,  and most recently, the sudden, brutal and tragic loss of a dealy loved and cherished husband.

Every single loss altered my life in profound ways, and taught me life lessons and greater self awareness. I was sucked into the darkness, isolation, pain, confusion, depression, anxiety and guilt from the huge unrealistic expectations around me, causing me to cope the only way I knew how – pretending I was fine and to just be stoic and get over it and move on in life.

That was a tough lesson to learn – trying to stuff my grief down and avoid experiencing all my painful feelings kept me stuck in my grief for far too long.

However I also noticed a troubling and common pattern – a distinct lack of community resources and support. There was no-one willingly available to talk to about my burdens and sadness. To be told 3 days to get over my grief and return to work was a disturbing reality.